Lowered Dose

I had my pre-infusion appt today, and Dr. Robert decided to reduce my chemo dosage by 10%. My white blood cell count has dropped quite low after each of the past two infusions, and I cannot handle the antibiotic that he had wanted me to take to prevent infection, so he said that it's dangerous to keep it the same. I asked how long it takes for the Neulasta (the shot I take the day after chemo to boost my immunity) to take effect, and he said that it starts right away but it only helps shorten the duration that I may have low immunity, and doesn't keep the white blood cell count from dropping. He said that the initial chemo dose that was developed for me was just an estimate of what would work, and that despite the reduction, he felt that the drugs would still have the beneficial effect that they expected them to. I asked him about some other symptoms I've had - swollen and watery eyes, for instance - and he said that they are all effects of the drugs. Knowing that kept me from scheduling appts with other doctors to figure out what was going on... Anyway I am thankful that my blood work today turned out to be within the acceptable range, and I am in good shape for Thursday.

It's weird getting used to having a fixed amount of energy to expend during the day... I find that though I wake up feeling pretty normal these days, it's a mistake to spend too long cleaning up or cooking or even talking for long, cos it means that by early afternoon, I am completely drained. The past week's been pretty busy as I tried to wrap things up at the office, and also tried to fit in some fun things before the next round. I went to lunch twice with friends, to Keenan's Tae Kwon Do belt ceremony, shopping for cleats with Keenan, to see 'Shutter Island' with Chinya, and drove myself to Maryland to Miranda's house. In a way I had to make myself do these things, cos what my body was telling me to do was to just stay put, but mentally I had to make the most of my good days so that I'd remember I did when things got rough again.

Most of all I just want to say again how blessed I feel to have help/support from so many people - phone calls, food, messages, gifts, cards... I wait for the day it's my turn to give back, but for now all I can do is say THANK YOU!

I thank God for a New Day!