Prepping for Radiation

Today the reality of radiation started to take shape in my head. I guess till now, my only focus had been getting through chemotherapy... I figured the radiation step was trivial. They'd shoot the beam at me and slowly kill off the cancer cells over the course of the 6 weeks, in 5-minute daily increments. I went to the appt today to get CT scans done and my tattoos (X marks the spot) put in, and I was a bit taken aback by how the radiation techs and the doctor seemed to struggle somehow in getting me positioned correctly in the machine. I had to lay on my back, with my left arm above my head, my shoulders aligned straight, and my back supported at about a 15-degree angle. They wondered if they'd be able to get the whole breast in from the position towards my left. They had to go back and forth about it for a while before they finally slid me into the CT machine (a donut-shaped machine) and took the scans.

After it was over, a nurse told us (Chinya and I) about how a typical day would go, what lotion and powder I'd use afterwards, to avoid Vit E and C supplements, how my fatigue would continue, that I would feel sharp but infrequent twitching (I think that was the word), and basically I should be careful with the skin in that area for the duration. I'd should expect to be in and out within twenty minutes or so each day. My next appt was set for next Thursday, when we'd do a trial run, before starting on June 1 (our 14th anniversary actually!).

I thought it was all set until I got a call from Dr. Pierce (the radiation oncologist) later in the afternoon. They'd been over my scans and basically the tumor had been directly over my heart and the plan they had would not work. They were afraid they could not prevent the beam from damaging the heart, and they needed to use IMRT (Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy) instead. An advanced mode of high-precision radiotherapy that utilizes computer-controlled linear accelerators to deliver precise radiation doses to a malignant tumor or specific areas within the tumor. (Internet) That meant they had to rework the plan for me, and would contact me soon to re-schedule. I was a bit shaken up by this initially but remembered that this why we chose to use Dr. Pierce and her Fairfax practice in the first place (meaning I drive at least 40 minutes each way, instead of just 5 minutes to get to the Loudoun practice). When we first met, she had pointed out before that the proximity to the heart was a concern, and it would require an experienced radiation oncologist. God is still in control.

I thank God for this New Day!

I had my last trip to the chemo infusion room yesterday! I claim that in faith.

I met two new patients, and saw another for the second time. We had a lively time talking - the husband of a patient with lung cancer told us at least 5 great jokes. He was quite a character. It was her first treatment, after radiation which shrunk her tumor to half the size, and afterwards we talked about losing hair, head coverings, etc. What made it particularly special to have her hubby (Bill) telling all the jokes was that on Tuesday I dropped in at the Life with Cancer Center, which is just next door from the doctor's office after my appointment. Just planned to go to the library and see if they had some books I could take with me. Turns out a class was just starting on Spirituality, and I decided to drop in. It ended up being my only class I've taken during my treatment. Anyway, there were mostly older ladies there, and the presenter was giving a talk about Laughter. Was quite entertaining. Towards the end, they asked whether the newcomers (me and a lady sitting next to me whose husband was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer) if we didn't have any funny stories to share, and how were we getting through without humor? The lady said that they were just trying to make it. I mentioned that it took till I got nearly halfway through chemo before I was at a point where I was in the mood for that. Kemi had given me a book on chemo jokes, and I never got to the point where I wanted to read them. I did share some funny things that had happened the night before, things Keenan said/did before going to bed, that reminded me how sweet it is to end a busy day with laughter!

I'll go out this rendition of this song (I Just Can't Give Up Now, I've Come Too Far From Where From Where I Started From) by James Cleveland- "I Don't Feel No Ways Tired" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_4tDOO1fZ0&feature=related. There's nothing like an old spiritual...

I thank God for this New Day!

Looking Forward

It feel like ages since I've been on this blog - had my 5th treatment, and am just a week away now from the last one. I'm now at another level emotionally - I can now see my life beyond this phase and am reading books that talk about life with and beyond cancer, and getting ideas for a more healthy lifestyle for the whole family, including diet, exercise, and lowering stress. I remember how towards the beginning of treatment, I couldn't read about other people's experiences with cancer - I felt too helpless with the news myself and it just made me more scared and uneasy. Now I feel so much more able to face my fears, knowing that I will be able to find the strength and grace to deal with whatever comes, with God's help, and the support from everyone around me. This has come to me just in the last couple weeks - you need to hit bottom sometimes, which I sorta did emotionally after the 4th treatment. So thankful to be beyond that, but I am sure it will continue to be something I will have to deal with as I live with the uncertainty of life as a cancer survivor.

I went for my first 6-month mammogram yesterday, and the radiologist said that it looks good. We were very pleased to hear that though it's the MRI really that will show any changes in the abnormalities they saw last time. The MRI's next month, and a follow-up with the breast surgeon will be a week or two later. I've also scheduled my radiation (June 2 to July 14 or so) to be at 10am, so now I can start planning for what camps to have the kids go to for the weeks they are out of school, and I will have this treatment (about 3 weeks). Tomorrow I have an ultrasound to check what showed up on the CT scan in Jan, and they feel are fibroids... I pray that goes well also.

Otherwise I feel great - in the mornings, that is. I did a mile walk at the gym this morning, and think that I will do that more regularly instead of my evening walks that I have been trying to do 3-4 times a week. I am out of energy around noon and though I can regain some by lying down or just resting, I think it will be better to do it early and not think about it all day.

Been listening to some good audio books from Kemi and Aunty Marilyn, and getting better at Sudoku. Also finding out more about activities at the church - so far, the people have been quite welcoming.

I thank God for a New Day!!