It's Christmas Day and we're all relaxing for now, till it's time to head out to see 'Avatar'. It's been a fun day, with lots to eat and great company, but I'm feeling particularly good cos I finally washed my hair this afternoon! It was driving me crazy - it's been about 11 days since the surgery and I'm not sure when exactly I washed it before then. Kept imagining dirty water trickling into the incision under my arm... Had planned to ask Mama to wash it for me while here in Midland, but it turned out not to be a problem at all doing it myself. I need to try and be more patient with this healing process, but understand it better now. Mornings are tougher physically - for some reason, there's more swelling and discomfort after lying down but it's temporary.

On the other hand, you never know when you'll be hit with a low emotionally. Went to see 'New Moon' the day other day, and as Bella got more confused and distressed about why Edward had left, I found myself worrying about whether I'd ever figure out how to eat enough healthy food to stay strong enough to handle chemo.... :-( Ridiculous I know but until I told Chinya about it (during the movie, that is) and he reminded me of how blessed we've been about the diagnosis so far, and how we know the Lord's in control, I couldn't get it out of my head. I was able to bounce back and enjoyed the rest of the movie, and since then I've tried to keep from dwelling on those kinds of thoughts. One way I've found to keep focused is by singing or listening to worship songs. It allows me to relax and regain my sense of peace. Even in a book I was reading on the drive to MI, "Eat Love Pray", it talks about how the reason prayer beads in the Hindu and Catholic faiths was to allow the person to focus on God for extended periods. I don't need beads but singing instead helps me...

Another book I was reading on our drive to MI is one Sheila sent, "Foods That Fight Cancer" by R. Beliveau and D. Gingras. It's fascinating to read how much of an impact diet can have on our chances of developing cancer. It talks about how "though Asians in generally suffer from an incidence of prostrate cancer several times lower than that of Westerners, an analysis of biopsies performed in a sample of both of these populations showed that the number of prostrate cells on the way to acquiring cancerous properties (precancerous cells) was exactly the same in both....The development of these cancers is thought to be caused by a disturbance in the work of our natural defense systems... With the right diet (with fruits and vegetables), the precancerous cells are unable to access the blood supply they need to grow, i.e., our anitangiogenic defenses win out. I wish the need to eat fruits and veggies had been put to me this way long ago. Just last week I was say how much I disliked green tea and soy milk, and look at me today - drinking both eagerly. Never say never...

I thank God for giving us his Son to die on the cross for our sins, and thank Him for this Christmas Day!!