5 Years...

I have been waiting for this day for months. Sometimes I think, did I miss it? Other times I count the days to December 11th... But it's finally here. I feel relieved. I made to the 5-yr anniversary of the day I was diagnosed! I knew I wanted to tell the family, have dinner out, have cake... just celebrate that I am still here with them. I thank God for the whole journey because without it I wouldn't be able to empathize with those who suffer from depression and anxiety, insomnia, pain, doubt, endless hours of waiting, confusion and isolation. You don't come out of it the same as you were before but that's not all bad. Yes, there are some things I lost that I miss, like feeling really cheerful, like everything is good it the world. I don't have days like that anymore. I don't get the same lift from window shopping, or browsing in a bookstore, or a day in a big city, or a great show... maybe I am just more focused and not much fun anymore? In other ways, I am happier because I am doing what I want to, and we are blessed in many ways. I am here to enjoy the children as they grow up - you think they need you more when they are young but the number of times they come (or text!) needing this or that. It is great to feel needed :-) Overall, I am just thankful to be here still and thank God for another new day!